WTF is This Feeling

Maybe it's the result of me not eating like before.
Maybe it's because of boredom
Maybe I just don't understand it
Maybe it's something inevitable

This sucks. I thought that I've gotten over this phase. But why is it coming back? Maybe this is just 'one of those times' - those times of relapse and being lost. Yeah. Maybe it's like that.
So many things are running through my mind right now. It  sucks when you have too much time in your hands and you don't do anything. It sucks. Torn between things. Between what's right and what's wrong. What's good and what's better.

Can I be immature again for once? Just this one time I want to feel this but I don't want this to last. Though I want to be immature, still, I can't express what I feel. Not that I really can't... it's a choice that want to make. And though I know it's for the better - it still sucks. The feeling sucks. And I suck for choosing that.

I'm vague I know. And I don't want to be clear.

Can this phase just be finished... now? Damn.