It's tough to change things... no matter how badly you want them to be changed.
It sucks.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Sunday, July 11, 2010
In The Next 2-3 Years...
I know I have the list of what I want to accomplish in my life. You might say that this one is redundant. But the truth is, it's not. These are just some of the things that I want to accomplish or have in the next 2-3 years. They're not as big as the other dreams... they're just the things I want in the near future given all of the things that I have right now.
..In a year or two I want to be able to have a better body (just toned and no fats in my belly :p).
I'm getting fat right now. ahahaha. It might not be obvious to most people but I don't feel good with my tummy showing when I'm wearing a shit or even a polo. When I go to the mall, I feel sad when I want to buy a shirt but couldn't since I know that it'll be too small for me or my 'curves' will show. Hahaha!. I never thought that this will be my problem because I was such a skinny boy before - but work makes wonder to your body. LOL. Anyway, I need to hit the gym soon. I just need to have the gear for it. Right now, I don't have anything :)). So I need to but them and sign up for a gym membership.. Hopefully, by August I can start. But even before that ,I should also be able to force myself in exercising!! I am an extremely lazy guy. haha! So I need to do that and start. It was my resolution this year but as always, resolutions never come true. I just need to be more disciplined with my body. Now, food is something different.. I love eating and I can't give that up yet. Maybe after a couple of months. Haha!
I want to be fit! To look good and feel good. :D
...In three years, I should have a place of my own.
'Nuff said. I want privacy and I want a place that I can call my own. May it be a small place. I just want some place where I can start living my bachelor life :D. There are things that I want to buy but can;t because of living restrictions. So hopefully, I can save up to finally move to a solo palce or even a place where I have a housemate - as long as we're cool and the place is better that just a bedspace that I am renting :D
Other plans and stuff that I want relies heavily on me having my own place. There are some things and stuff that I want to have that can only be possible when I have my own place - an electronic keyboard would be one so that I can get in touch with my musical self :D. I would list it soon when I make my entry about my dream bachelor pad :).
I need to enjoy my bachelorhood to the fullest! So one step at a time, I'm gonna make them all come true.
So I'll need to start saving now! I should be able to fulfill them or else I'm a failure again. Oh well. Let's go motivation!
P.S.
I'm also thinking of getting a tattoo... LOL. Now this one relies on the first thing that I want - a toned body. But then, this one might get a few eyebrows raised so I'm seriously still thinking about it. :P
..In a year or two I want to be able to have a better body (just toned and no fats in my belly :p).
I'm getting fat right now. ahahaha. It might not be obvious to most people but I don't feel good with my tummy showing when I'm wearing a shit or even a polo. When I go to the mall, I feel sad when I want to buy a shirt but couldn't since I know that it'll be too small for me or my 'curves' will show. Hahaha!. I never thought that this will be my problem because I was such a skinny boy before - but work makes wonder to your body. LOL. Anyway, I need to hit the gym soon. I just need to have the gear for it. Right now, I don't have anything :)). So I need to but them and sign up for a gym membership.. Hopefully, by August I can start. But even before that ,I should also be able to force myself in exercising!! I am an extremely lazy guy. haha! So I need to do that and start. It was my resolution this year but as always, resolutions never come true. I just need to be more disciplined with my body. Now, food is something different.. I love eating and I can't give that up yet. Maybe after a couple of months. Haha!
I want to be fit! To look good and feel good. :D
...In three years, I should have a place of my own.
'Nuff said. I want privacy and I want a place that I can call my own. May it be a small place. I just want some place where I can start living my bachelor life :D. There are things that I want to buy but can;t because of living restrictions. So hopefully, I can save up to finally move to a solo palce or even a place where I have a housemate - as long as we're cool and the place is better that just a bedspace that I am renting :D
Other plans and stuff that I want relies heavily on me having my own place. There are some things and stuff that I want to have that can only be possible when I have my own place - an electronic keyboard would be one so that I can get in touch with my musical self :D. I would list it soon when I make my entry about my dream bachelor pad :).
I need to enjoy my bachelorhood to the fullest! So one step at a time, I'm gonna make them all come true.
So I'll need to start saving now! I should be able to fulfill them or else I'm a failure again. Oh well. Let's go motivation!
P.S.
I'm also thinking of getting a tattoo... LOL. Now this one relies on the first thing that I want - a toned body. But then, this one might get a few eyebrows raised so I'm seriously still thinking about it. :P
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Confusion
We always dream of things. But sometimes, we just wait for those things to come to us and we're not doing anything.
Kinda stupid if you think but sometimes... or rather.. most of the time... I do that.
That's something really wrong but I just do it. *Sigh*
I'm shutting down again and disconnecting to everything.
It's pretty fucked up.
Sometimes, even myself can't understand what I am doing.
Kinda stupid if you think but sometimes... or rather.. most of the time... I do that.
That's something really wrong but I just do it. *Sigh*
I'm shutting down again and disconnecting to everything.
It's pretty fucked up.
Sometimes, even myself can't understand what I am doing.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Sudden Surge
What I hate is when people lie straight to my face. I can't help but feel mad. I know that it is shallow and it stupid but I can;t help the way I feel. There are just some things that I can't accept.
Right now, I'm really pissed. You can tell me the truth. Don't say something and then you do something else then I learn about it. I'd rather get hurt because of the truth than knowing that you played me. Screw that.
Well, maybe you did not think of that when you said those words to me. Yeah... maybe you really don't care. Doesn't matter when I'll know the truth eventually - you just didn't think of me. Maybe I was just a fleeting thought.
This sucks. I don't like the way I'm feeling towards you know. Honestly, I'm confused. I'm doing this and that - and you just don't care. Maybe I'm just not making myself clear on these things that I do. I don't know. I really think that it's not worth it... you're not worth it. But still I'm here for some fucked up reason that I can't understand.
Screw emotions. Screw these feelings. If this can easily be shut off - I'd have done it. Seriously... it's not worth it.
Seriously... you're not worth any of these things that I am feeling.
I want this to be over. I want what I feel to be gone.
Right now, I'm really pissed. You can tell me the truth. Don't say something and then you do something else then I learn about it. I'd rather get hurt because of the truth than knowing that you played me. Screw that.
Well, maybe you did not think of that when you said those words to me. Yeah... maybe you really don't care. Doesn't matter when I'll know the truth eventually - you just didn't think of me. Maybe I was just a fleeting thought.
This sucks. I don't like the way I'm feeling towards you know. Honestly, I'm confused. I'm doing this and that - and you just don't care. Maybe I'm just not making myself clear on these things that I do. I don't know. I really think that it's not worth it... you're not worth it. But still I'm here for some fucked up reason that I can't understand.
Screw emotions. Screw these feelings. If this can easily be shut off - I'd have done it. Seriously... it's not worth it.
Seriously... you're not worth any of these things that I am feeling.
I want this to be over. I want what I feel to be gone.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Let's Go
What sucks?
It's when you want to do a lot of things but you can't.
And the reason is because you don't have someone to do it with.
It's tough right now to get a hold of someone to join you when you want to go out and do stupid things or whatever. People are busy. Busy with this. Busy with that. Or basically busy with their life.
I'm feeling right now the repercussions of the 'live and let go' mantra that I used to believe in before. Kinda sucks, but there's no use in making a fuss on what has been done before. Like I do most of the time, just go on with life and make the most of what I currently have.
I just kind of get lonely sometimes that I can't 'enjoy' because I don't have someone to be with. It's true what they say that it's much more fun and meaningful when you do stuff with other people. I don't mind going out by myself some times but there are times that you just want to laugh and talk with someone. But again, I know that people can't always be with you because we all have our own lives to live.
Maybe I just need a little more confidence to speak what I think. Often, I just keep it that is why things aren't happening the way I want them to.
Hmm.. yeah. Thinking about it, I would say that that's really the bottom line of all this shiz that I am writing about.
I just need to learn to ask.
...that's something that as of now, I don't usually do.
Converse and collaborate.
Boom! Problem solve.
But then.. It's easier said than done. Oh well. Let's see.
*yay.. a realization post. not really what I want to write but WTH. LOL*
It's when you want to do a lot of things but you can't.
And the reason is because you don't have someone to do it with.
It's tough right now to get a hold of someone to join you when you want to go out and do stupid things or whatever. People are busy. Busy with this. Busy with that. Or basically busy with their life.
I'm feeling right now the repercussions of the 'live and let go' mantra that I used to believe in before. Kinda sucks, but there's no use in making a fuss on what has been done before. Like I do most of the time, just go on with life and make the most of what I currently have.
I just kind of get lonely sometimes that I can't 'enjoy' because I don't have someone to be with. It's true what they say that it's much more fun and meaningful when you do stuff with other people. I don't mind going out by myself some times but there are times that you just want to laugh and talk with someone. But again, I know that people can't always be with you because we all have our own lives to live.
Maybe I just need a little more confidence to speak what I think. Often, I just keep it that is why things aren't happening the way I want them to.
Hmm.. yeah. Thinking about it, I would say that that's really the bottom line of all this shiz that I am writing about.
I just need to learn to ask.
...that's something that as of now, I don't usually do.
Converse and collaborate.
Boom! Problem solve.
But then.. It's easier said than done. Oh well. Let's see.
*yay.. a realization post. not really what I want to write but WTH. LOL*
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Alcohol
A couple of weeks back... Someone asked me.
"Why do you drink?"
...
I was stumped. I didn't have any answers. I said that I drink just to be social.
"Besides that, why else do you drink? Do you like the taste? The feeling of alcohol coursing through your body?"
My answer was No. And there were no other reasons that I can think of why I drink.
And that made me stop.
People might wonder why I drink less than usual. Aside from the reason abow - well, lack of reason I would say - the last drinking session that I have attended wherein I got wasted was not a good experience. It might be possible that I have developed some kind of 'fear' when I see a bottle of alcohol. Hahaha. Stupid, right?
I'm not saying that I will not drink anymore. I'll just be more cautious and drink much less.
Aside from draining my pocket, it directly goes to my tummy - and I don't want it to get bigger than it is right now. Hahaha.
So there - hopefully I can do this. =)) hahaha!
Very little alcohol intake for me from now on. Or...
"Why do you drink?"
...
I was stumped. I didn't have any answers. I said that I drink just to be social.
"Besides that, why else do you drink? Do you like the taste? The feeling of alcohol coursing through your body?"
My answer was No. And there were no other reasons that I can think of why I drink.
And that made me stop.
People might wonder why I drink less than usual. Aside from the reason abow - well, lack of reason I would say - the last drinking session that I have attended wherein I got wasted was not a good experience. It might be possible that I have developed some kind of 'fear' when I see a bottle of alcohol. Hahaha. Stupid, right?
I'm not saying that I will not drink anymore. I'll just be more cautious and drink much less.
Aside from draining my pocket, it directly goes to my tummy - and I don't want it to get bigger than it is right now. Hahaha.
So there - hopefully I can do this. =)) hahaha!
Very little alcohol intake for me from now on. Or...
Sunday, June 6, 2010
There's Nothing to Write
This happens most of the time - I want to write something and ideas are flowing from my mind. But when I face the computer...
blank.
I cannot seem to express what I want to write and I get stuck and stupid and just ramble on whatever.
It kinda sucks since I really want to express many things. But it seems that the moments just pass me by. And that happens always - even if it is not about writing. Sometimes I badly want to do things and I am really in the zone... but once I get there.. boom! The feeling's gone and it really sucks. I can't even remember the reason of why I want to do it.
Right now, I want to write above 'Hate and Love' and the coexistence of both - because it is what I feel right now. But I can't. The ideas that I have before opening this page seems to have gone and now I'm at a loss of what to write. Thus the creation of this entry that is totally unrelated. It really sucks. Sometimes I just wish that I have this device that automatically translates what is in my mind and writes it in paper or automatically types it. For sure, that would make things a lot more easier. But of course - asa naman ako.
Oh well. So there you go... nothing intelligent to write.
Maybe next time.
blank.
I cannot seem to express what I want to write and I get stuck and stupid and just ramble on whatever.
It kinda sucks since I really want to express many things. But it seems that the moments just pass me by. And that happens always - even if it is not about writing. Sometimes I badly want to do things and I am really in the zone... but once I get there.. boom! The feeling's gone and it really sucks. I can't even remember the reason of why I want to do it.
Right now, I want to write above 'Hate and Love' and the coexistence of both - because it is what I feel right now. But I can't. The ideas that I have before opening this page seems to have gone and now I'm at a loss of what to write. Thus the creation of this entry that is totally unrelated. It really sucks. Sometimes I just wish that I have this device that automatically translates what is in my mind and writes it in paper or automatically types it. For sure, that would make things a lot more easier. But of course - asa naman ako.
Oh well. So there you go... nothing intelligent to write.
Maybe next time.
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