In The Next 2-3 Years...

I know I have the list of what I want to accomplish in my life. You might say that this one is redundant. But the truth is, it's not. These are just some of the things that I want to accomplish or have in the next 2-3 years. They're not as big as the other dreams... they're just the things I want in the near future given all of the things that I have right now.

..In a year or two I want to be able to have a better body (just toned and no fats in my belly :p).
I'm getting fat right now. ahahaha. It might not be obvious to most people but I don't feel good with my tummy showing when I'm wearing a shit or even a polo. When I go to the mall, I feel sad when I want to buy a shirt but couldn't since I know that it'll be too small for me or my 'curves' will show. Hahaha!. I never thought that this will be my problem because I was such a skinny boy before - but work makes wonder to your body. LOL. Anyway, I need to hit the gym soon. I just need to have the gear for it. Right now, I don't have anything :)). So I need to but them and sign up for a gym membership.. Hopefully, by August I can start. But even before that ,I should also be able to force myself in exercising!! I am an extremely lazy guy. haha! So I need to do that and start. It was my resolution this year but as always, resolutions never come true. I just need to be more disciplined with my body. Now, food is something different.. I love eating and I can't give that up yet. Maybe after a couple of months. Haha!

I want to be fit! To look good and feel good. :D

...In three years, I should have a place of my own.
'Nuff said. I want privacy and I want a place that I can call my own. May it be a small place. I just want some place where I can start living my bachelor life :D. There are things that I want to buy but can;t because of living restrictions. So hopefully, I can save up to finally move to a solo palce or even a place where I have a housemate - as long as we're cool and the place is better that just a bedspace that I am renting :D

Other plans and stuff that I want relies heavily on me having my own place. There are some things and stuff that  I want to have that can only be possible when I have my own place - an electronic keyboard would be one so that I can get in touch with my musical self :D. I would list it soon when I make my entry about my dream bachelor pad :).

I need to enjoy my bachelorhood to the fullest! So one step at a time, I'm gonna make them all come true.

So I'll need to start saving now! I should be able to fulfill them or else I'm a failure again. Oh well. Let's go motivation!

P.S.
I'm also thinking of getting a tattoo... LOL. Now this one relies on the first thing that I want - a toned body. But then, this one might get a few eyebrows raised so I'm seriously still thinking about it. :P

Confusion

We always dream of things. But sometimes, we just wait for those things to come to us and we're not doing anything.

Kinda stupid if you think but sometimes... or rather.. most of the time... I do that.
That's something really wrong but I just do it. *Sigh*

I'm shutting down again and disconnecting to everything.
It's pretty fucked up.

Sometimes, even myself can't understand what I am doing.

Sudden Surge

What I hate is when people lie straight to my face. I can't help but feel mad. I know that it is shallow and it stupid but I can;t help the way I feel.  There are just some things that I can't accept.

Right now, I'm really pissed. You can tell me the truth. Don't say something and then you do something else then I learn about it. I'd rather get hurt because of the truth than knowing that you played me. Screw that.

Well, maybe you did not think of that when you said those words to me. Yeah... maybe you really don't care. Doesn't matter when I'll know the truth eventually - you just didn't think of me. Maybe I was just a fleeting thought.

This sucks. I don't like the way I'm feeling towards you know. Honestly, I'm confused. I'm doing this and that - and you just don't care. Maybe I'm just not making myself clear on these things that I do. I don't know. I really think that it's not worth it... you're not worth it. But still I'm here for some fucked up reason that I can't understand.

Screw emotions. Screw these feelings. If this can easily be shut off - I'd have done it. Seriously... it's not worth it.


Seriously... you're not worth any of these things that I am feeling.

I want this to be over. I want what I feel to be gone.